… Now, instead of looking like a junker, it looks like a junker on it’s way to being restored.

… I know it’s supposed to be a parrot, but can I still qualify as a pirate with a pigeon on my shoulder?

… A customer came into the Chevron this evening and asked if we had any  crackers.  He told us of an incredibly friendly pigeon that was out in front of the store, how he had it standing on his shoulder.  So I grab my camera to go out and get a picture of him with the pigeon on his shoulder, and the thing flies over onto my shoulder.  I laughed, he laughed and then  took a couple pictures of us with my camera.  Fun’s over, put the pigeon on the ground and I head back into the store.

… Yeah, I thought the fun was over.  Just barely through the door, before it can close behind me, the bird flies into the store and lands on my shoulder again.  I walk it outside, over to the bushes by the air hose and put  it on the ground there.  It follows me back to the store, comes in again, flies a little bit around the store and lands on the shoulder of the other guy working there.  He (the worker, not the bird) didn’t like that too much, so I go over, get the bird back again, grab a hot dog bun and walk out again.  This time I go farther,  to the other side of the parking lot, leave a bunch of bread crumbs on the ground and drop the bird there.  It wasn’t very hungry, because it followed me back to the store again.

… Ok, one more time.  I walk it down next to the building next door, leave it on the ground with more bread, and this time I try to trick it by going the wrong way, around this P.O.D.S.*  thing in the parking lot.  I kid you not, the thing flew right next to me all the way back to the store.  Every time it would come in the store and start flying around, landing various places, until a customer came in and I’d get it on my shoulder.  It would stay on my shoulder rather than fly around, and I thought that was better than having it getting friendly  with (as in freaking out)customers.

… At this point I realized it wasn’t going away easily.  So, rather than  having it flying around freaking out customers, I left it on my shoulder and called Animal Control.  I got about the same reaction as when I called them a few years ago to tell them I had a peacock in my back yard. “What?”, “You’re kidding.”, “A pigeon?” and “Never heard that one before.”  I think they finally decided that it would be fun to arrest that bozo claiming to be the Pigeon Whisperer for filing a false report, because they agreed to send someone out.

… I thought it would be only a few minutes, figured there couldn’t be that many animal emergencies on a Friday night, so I actually helped customers with the bird on my shoulder.  Now that was funny, some of the reactions were hilarious, and fortunately nobody got freaked out by it.  But after waiting about a half an hour I kind of got tired of it walking back and forth across by shoulders, and it finally dawned on me I could lock the bird in the back room.

… Animal Control showed up about another half hour later, laughed when I showed her the bird and it climbed right up onto my shoulder.  When she left to bring it down to the shelter to let it free there, she said “and hopefully it won’t find it’s way back here.”

… Oh, and yes, it did soil my shirt.

*P.O.D.S.  - Personal On Demand Storage, those one-car garage sized storage units they haul over and dump on your property while you’re remodeling or moving or whatever.

this would have been it.  Love how they sped up the video to give it that real Benny Hill feel.  The last minute or so, after they surround it, isn’t all that funny, but the first minute-20 is hilarious. Especially if you remember the Benny Hill Show.

The science teacher showed me this little tidbit on a note she intercepted:

“If I was ugly I wouldn’t want to go to school!”

“Then why are you here today?”

And this was left in the login box when I had the class in the computer lab the other day:

… Just got back from the Jazz game. Don’t go that often, but tonight was Chevron employee night.  Peterson Oil (our  Chevron’s parent company) has a suite in the Delta Center* and they invited half of the crew from each of their stores to join them in their suite.  The other half gets to go next month.

… It was a blast.  Not that the game was that exciting, they played the New Jersey Nets, who have, now, lost 39 out of 41 games.  There were a couple of really cool plays I got to see though, one where Boozer stole the ball from the Nets while he was sitting on the floor.  Most of the fun was hanging out with the people I work with, and being in the suite.  We had a great view, at the table where  I ate I could watch the game on the floor, on the jumbo-tron and on TV.  Sensory overload.  The food, which was not standard basketball arena fare, was not only good but also supplied by Peterson Oil, as was the open bar.  Which is why it was a good thing I got a ride down there with an employee who doesn’t drink.

… But other than a few minutes here and there of watching the game, most during the last quarter, I got the chance to sit around and b.s. with the people I work with and work for.  All in all, an excellent way to spend a Saturday night. 

*I still don’t think of it as the Energy Solutions Arena.

… more stuff I stole from an email someone sent me…

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… Got home from school Tuesday night and was in bed by 5:30.  Had a small case of the stomach flu or something.  No fever, but all my joints ached and was having gastro-intestinal issues.  About 1:30 in the morning I knew I wasn’t going to school Wednesday, so I called our district’s automated call-in-sick number.  Now how many of you think I was done at this point.  Ok, you, with your hand up, obviously you’re not a teacher.  If you were, you’d know that I still had to get up at 6, drag my carcass into school and get lesson plans ready for the day.  By 7:30 I was home in bed again and, other than bathroom runs, didn’t get out of bed until 5:30 am on Thursday.  Wednesday?  Did it really exist?  Not for me, but that’s ok, I’m back to (ahem) normal.

… YES!  A good storm came in and scoured out the valley.  It didn’t leave as much snow or rain as the other storms, but it brought a lot of wind.   We love wind, it destabilizes the inversion. 

… I also learned that, despite our air being deemed the worst in the nation, that a lot of what we see blocking our view during the inversions is actually just water.  The same forces that trap in the cold air and the pollution, prevent evaporated water from escaping.  So, as ugly as those pictures I posted before were, a lot of that really was just fog.

… Thank God the fog has lifted.  Now, how long is it going to last?

Click here for related story.

… Here are some more pictures I got in my email box.  I won’t vouch for their unaltered state – these days you have to look at every photo as possibly being photoshopped, but they’re still funny.

… The manager of Chevron called the store tonight and told us to pull all the Benadryl and Tylenol products off the shelves.  We didn’t get many details, especially since he  didn’t know much himself, except that they had been recalled and could be dangerous.  If you go to the link below, you’ll see that it only involves specific lot numbers, so don’t start panicking yet.  I’ve got a bottle of Tylenol that is half empty, so I know it’s ok.  But if you’ve bought any recently, you may want to check follow the link and check yours out.  Just an FYI.

http://www.mcneilproductrecall.com/

I got a big long email warning about people posing as Census takers to get personal information for identity theft.  So, I went online and checked out the census website and it boils down to this:

1. Don’t answer anything unless it comes through the U.S. Mail or from someone in person with U.S. Census Bureau I.D.

2.  Do not answer any questions other than the 10 listed below. 

1. How many people live there?
2. Where there any additional people staying there that you did not include in Question 1?
3. Is this house, apartment or mobile home?
4. What is your telephone number?
5. Names of everyone living there.
6. Gender?
7. Age and date of birth?
8. Hispanic, Latino or Spanish origin?
9. Race?
10. Do they sometimes live or stay somewhere else?

If you want to check out all the information on the Census, here is the link: The 2010 Census.

… They really need to rephrase the term “Average Class Size”, or find a more informative way of calculating it.

… I just got done adjusting my seating charts for the second semester, which starts Tuesday.  Of my four 8th grade classes, two have 40 students, and two have 39 students.  My 9th grade class has a scant 36 students in it.

… Then I’m in reading the Salt Lake Tribune, where they reported that the average class size for secondary schools last year was “19 students a class.”  That’s one more student than half my smallest class.  A more accurate, and less deceptive, way of stating that number would be “19 students per certified staff member.”

… Here’s the problem with that number, they figure it by taking the number of students registered and dividing it by the number of staff members on teacher contracts, including the ones with no class loads.  Counselors are on teacher contracts.  Librarians are on teacher contracts, so are the School Technology Specialists.  They don’t differentiate between classroom teachers and these other positions. When you also consider the smaller class sizes of Special Ed, Youth in Custody and other at-risk specific classes, you get an incredibly distorted impression of the the class size most of our students are in.

… I’d like to see the stats from actual class rolls for your mainstream classes.  That would give you an accurate idea of what the majority of the students see in all their classes, and I’d guarantee it’s a lot more than 19.  Or at least word it so that the general public doesn’t picture classrooms with less than 20 students in them, and wonder why all these teachers are complaining about “stack ‘em deep and teach ‘em cheap.”

This’ll make getting through airport security a lot quicker – and without the embarrassment of a full body scan…

… Well, actually this post is about how I CAN drive 55, car #55 that is. The 2 door hardtop, as of yet unnamed, is now legal, insured and on the road.  It still looks like a beater, but mechanically, it rivals Old Blue for best-runner.  The ride is definitely closest to new – got it on the freeway last night and it literally floated down the road, but without feeling squirrely like the wagon does.  Not that it corners any better than a shopping cart (thanks for that one, Sir Duke), but it is predictable and solid on the road.

… So far, I’ve put a new (dual) exhaust on it, new tires, master cylinder (brakes), air filter and, well that’s about it.  I’m going to give it an oil change tomorrow, already bought the stuff for it, and then maybe a tune up down the line.  Mechanically, that’s about all it needs.  The mechanics who did the brakes, emissions and inspection on it said they were amazed how solid the front end was on it, and other than the stuff they fixed, it was in excellent shape.  Of course, it will need a new vinyl roof and paint, but then it will be good as new.

… I got my exercise today, brought all four LTDs over to Sugarhouse Park for a photo shoot (as you can probably tell by the pictures).  To do this I have to drive a car over, walk home, drive another car over, etc., and then do it all over again to get them home.  It’s only about  5 blocks away, but it’s uphill both ways.  Partially.  I had to go over a hill, either that or trudge through a lot more snow.  Anyhow, here’s the pictures of my collection.